


the perfect gift (for the man who has everything)

by fmo



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 06:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10825503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fmo/pseuds/fmo
Summary: It's Yuuri's birthday again, and Yuuri has forbidden Victor from spending any money on a gift. Victor is equally determined to get Yuuri the best gift of all time. Nobody has any helpful advice at all.





	the perfect gift (for the man who has everything)

It is almost Yuuri’s birthday, and Victor must get him _the best present_. Ever.

“You don’t have to get me anything,” Yuuri says when Victor explains this to him. Yuuri twists his fingers in his lap and then looks up at Victor with shining eyes and says, “Honestly, you give me so much every day. I can hardly believe how lucky I am already. All I want to do on my birthday is eat katsudon with my husband, so please don’t go buy something expensive for me. Promise.”

“So cruel,” says Victor, melting elegantly off the couch so that his face conveniently ends up on Yuuri’s thigh. “My husband won’t let me buy him a birthday present,” he says mournfully into Yuuri’s designer jeans. “He wants to stifle my love.”

Yuuri pats his hair gently a few times and then says, “Promise you won’t spend any money on a present for me.”

Distracted by Yuuri’s petting, Victor forgets that he intended to lie and instead accidentally makes the promise. Everything gets ten times worse.

“Well, you have given him a lot,” says Chris practically, over the phone. “I mean he lives in your apartment. You married him. You share a car and your dog and everything else you owned before you met him. You also helped him win numerous medals and you buy him stuff all the time and I know you have a joint bank account. So . . . he’s not wrong.”

“Of course he’s not wrong,” Victor says defensively. “But what can I give him for his birthday now if I’m not allowed to spend any money?”

“Well . . .” says Chris. He makes a few suggestions.

“I can’t give him that as a _present._ We already do that all the time!”

Since Chris is no help, Victor turns to Mari. He’s never really talked to her a whole lot, and he’s pretty sure he’s proving to Yuuri’s family that he’s a terrible husband who is totally unworthy of Yuuri, but he’s also desperate.

Mari listens to Victor’s woes and then definitely rolls her eyes at him (she’s on the phone, but he can just _tell_ ). “Obviously, you don’t have to buy him anything,” she says. “He was really obsessed with you when he was a kid. Really, so obsessed. Don’t you have any old stuff from your younger days that you can give him?”

After recovering from the trauma of _your younger days_ , Victor realizes she has a point. He waits until Mila takes Yuuri out to see a movie (he and Yuuri already saw it, but apparently Yuuri wouldn’t mind seeing it again) and then opens up his walk-in closet and hauls out all of his boxes of old junk. Old skating costumes—no, Yuuri already had his pick of those. He can’t give them to Yuuri a second time. Old medals? Yuuri would just put them right back in the safe they came from, so it seems a bit pointless. Old posters? Yuuri already owns them all. Nasty old skates? (Why did he keep those?) No, Victor would love to have _Yuuri’s_ old skates, but Yuuri would just think these are gross. Alas.

Victor is in despair, and then he has to shove all his stuff away again before Yuuri comes back.

“Why is your face all red?” Yuuri says when he comes in the door. “Have you been _cleaning_? Where are my sweatpants that I left here by the bed?” So maybe some of the floor laundry got put away with Victor’s old stuff too, oh well.

Yuuri’s birthday continues to approach: two weeks away. One week away. Five days away. Victor is starting to sleep badly at night, so finally he takes Makkachin out for a long yet leisurely walk and calls up the big guns of any Yuuri-related crisis: Phichit.

Phichit is a risky call to make, since Victor is aware Phichit’s loyalty lies 100% with Yuuri and therefore Victor has no confidence that Phichit won’t immediately spill the beans to Yuuri the moment Victor hangs up. On the other hand, Phichit’s always been firmly in support of #victuuri, as he calls it, so he’ll help as long as it’s in the cause of love.

Victor also appreciates that Phichit also considers the problem as seriously as it deserves. “Hmm,” says Phichit. “The last time you had this crisis, you ended up learning to make katsudon, right?”

“Yes,” Victor says, pressing a hand to his heart. “I always make katsudon for him on special occasions.” Last time he had this crisis, he had called up Mama Katsuki and she taught him how to make the perfect Yuuri’s-Mother-Style katsudon. He may not be a great cook, but he does know how to focus to achieve a goal, and Yakov might be surprised to hear he can follow instructions when he wants to as well. Now, he still has a cooking repertoire of about five dishes, but katsudon is definitely one of them, and it’s the only one that really matters anyway.

“So that one’s out,” Phichit says. “I don’t know, Victor. You know what he likes. Aside from katsudon, he loves dogs, but he loves Makkachin the best anyway, so there's no gift to give there. I think he's telling you the truth. His ideal birthday present really is probably just . . . you. I’ve seen all the posters he had of you from like ten years ago.”

“That’s what Mari said,” says Victor, “but I can’t give him _me._ ” And then it dawns on him. “Never mind, thank you Phichit, I’ve got it! Say hi to the hamsters for me!” He hangs up probably too fast to be polite, but he really wants to get home and make sure he can find the thing he’s looking for. He waits until Yuuri’s in the shower, then delves back into his walk-in closet and roots through the boxes in there. He finds Yuuri’s lost sweatpants, some lamps Victor forgot he owned, and then finally one old shoebox he’d glimpsed the last time he looked through all this stuff.

Perfect.

Of course, once the morning of Yuuri’s birthday arrives, Victor is second-guessing his gift. It’s not expensive, but then again it’s certainly one-of-a-kind. 

They’ve already decided to sleep in on Yuuri’s birthday, so early bird Victor has to suffer alone through the sunrise and several more hours of watching Yuuri sleeping in a sunbeam like an angel. When Yuuri finally wakes up, smiling and curling into the pillow like a cherub in a cloud and slaying Victor on the spot, he mumbles, “I hope you didn’t buy anything for me."

“I kept my promise, of course,” Victor says proudly. “I didn’t spend any money on a gift.” Yuuri rewards him with a kiss, which is fair, and then Victor says, “But I do have a present for you.”

Yuuri sits up and puts on his glasses. “Okay,” he says.

Victor hops out of bed and comes back with his beautifully wrapped gift box, which now feels like a terrible test he must pass in order to keep Yuuri’s love. Maybe it was an awful gift. Maybe it was amazingly arrogant of him to think that Yuuri would want something of his.

“It’s not much,” Victor says as he hands the box over. It’s very light. “But I kind of thought that the Yuuri who was once my fan would have liked it.”

Yuri opens the box slowly, infuriatingly refusing to tear the paper, and then finally opens it. He gasps. “Oh my god, Victor, is this _yours_?” he says, barely touching the silver braid inside.

Victor feels slightly encouraged, but not completely sure he doesn’t deserve to be divorced immediately. “Yes, it was mine,” he says. “I’m not sure why I kept it.” He'd cut it because he was twenty-one and rebelling against everything in general, but he'd regretted it almost immediately. 

“It’s so _soft_ ,” Yuuri says in wonder, stroking his fingertips down the hair. “It’s so _long_. I can’t believe it. This was your hair when you won your first Grand Prix gold medal. This was your hair when you skated to ‘Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.' I can’t believe I’m actually touching this. I would have _killed_ to touch your hair when I was sixteen.”

Victor settles down back into bed with Yuuri and puts his arms around him. "So it wasn’t such a disappointing present?” he asks.

“ _I love it_ ,” Yuuri says urgently into Victor’s ear.

The next day, when Victor tells Yurio about his wonderful gift, Yurio stares at him for a good ninety seconds and then finally says, “That’s so creepy, like a serial killer.”

“That’s love, Yurio,” Victor says, skating away gracefully.

“So what are you going to get him for his next birthday, a severed toe?” says Yurio.

“Next birthday?” says Victor.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this or if you want to bookmark it, I would really appreciate if you could leave a comment!
> 
> Visit me at fmowrites.tumblr.com for more YOI content of dubious quality.


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